When I was four my grandfather took me fishing at Kern River. Before a line was dropped in the river he introduced me to the concept of “listening to the river”. He said that you don’t cast the line till you hear the river, until you know where to cast that line. The fish egg covered hook hit the river and the trout hit it immediately. You and I both know that it was nothing but luck, or coincidence, but I was profoundly affected. Six years later as he was dying he reminded me that I didn’t have to be at the river to hear the water, and I didn’t have to have him with me to hear him. Forty-four years later, and I miss him every day.
That same year my mom took me to the local YMCA to start a class of “Youth Jujitsu”. The instructor was magical to me. He captivated me, and to this day is one of my favorite people on the planet. As that young, heartbroken boy, missing my grandad, I found someone. Someone who would sit with me and talk, discussing things like respect, empathy, sportsmanship, and kindness. We talked about the importance of family, of bending like a willow, not standing like an oak. We talked of remembering to listen, to be humble, and not boastful. Those talks, after time in the dojo, sitting in his office, were times that I relished. Grandad was gone, but I could still hear him, through my sensei. I could still hear the river.
Throughout my life, the river, the water have been my ground. They have been my gyroscope. When my best friend died at 15, when my parents divorced when I was 17, through every one of my mother’s surgeries, and all of the deaths that surrounded me, I had the water, and it was enough. Until recently. Recently, the anger, rage, and fear that permeates out lives on a daily basis has been overwhelming. I’d lost sleep, lost my balance, had trouble with my gyroscope. I’d gotten caught up in the rage. Then I heard that anger in the words of my children and realized I had to find my way back to the water, to my peace. My principles, morals, and path were learned from the very wise adults in my youth. I choose to return to that path, to those principles. I Choose Love. #ichooselove
ichooselove 